Wedding Shot List: Nine Moments Not to Miss

Your photographer knows to shoot the kiss and the cake. The list is for what they can't know. Name the heirloom, the grandparents, the aunt who flew in, and the order of the family groups. Keep the moments short, spend your detail on the people, and send the list a week before the wedding.

The family photos are the only ones you can't stage again once the guests go home.

The Emily Post Institute's list for the final weeks includes preparing a list of "must have" photos or videos to give to your photographer and videographer. The nine moments below are in the order they happen on the day.

1. Details: the first hour of coverage

Details are the shots of things, taken before people arrive. Ask your photographer to start here while you finish getting ready.

• The rings, with the invitation or a ring box
• The dress on a hanger, the shoes, jewelry
• The bouquet and boutonnieres
• The venue from outside, before guests arrive
• Anything with a story, such as a grandmother's handkerchief or a letter from a parent

Put the items with a story on the list by name. Nobody behind a camera can guess that the brooch belonged to your great-aunt. Pack the details in one small box so the photographer can find them without asking you.

2. Getting ready: a few candid minutes

Getting-ready shots are quiet and fast. Ask for final touches to hair and makeup, buttoning the dress or the jacket, and a few candid moments with the wedding party. If you are giving each other a letter or a gift, write it on the list. That moment only happens once.

Tidy the room before the photographer arrives. Bags, bottles and coffee cups end up in the background of every frame.

3. First look: only if you plan one

A first look is a private moment before the ceremony when you see each other dressed. With a first look, ask for both reactions, from behind and from the front, and a few quiet minutes together afterwards. If you don't, leave this off and give the time to the family photos.

4. Ceremony: the moments that happen once

The ceremony can't be repeated, so the list matters most here.

• Guests arriving and taking their seats
• Each entrance in the processional
• Your partner's face as you walk down the aisle
• Vows and the ring exchange
• The first kiss
• The recessional, with petals or confetti
• One wide view of the whole ceremony space

Phones in the aisle spoil many of these shots. The Emily Post Institute's page on cell phones at the wedding ceremony suggests a small, tasteful notice in the printed program as the first choice. An announcement by the officiant just before the processional is the fallback. For an unplugged ceremony, use both.

5. Family photos: the order that keeps groups moving

Family photos take the most organizing. What helps is an order that only ever adds or removes a few people at a time. Start with the biggest group on one side, then let people step out. Grandparents go early, so they can sit down. Then switch to the other side. End with both sets of parents together.

The minutes are a planning estimate. Two minutes covers a small group that's already standing nearby. Three covers a big group that has to be arranged. These ten groups add up to 23 minutes. Add a few minutes for finding people, and book 30 minutes in your wedding timeline right after the ceremony.

Divorced parents need their own groups if there's tension. Advice from the Emily Post Institute on ceremony seating says divorced parents can share the front row when everyone gets along, and sit apart when they don't. Use the same judgement for photos. Split "Side A, parents" into two lines, and put the names on the list so the photographer doesn't have to ask.

Writing the names, the order and a gatherer into one sheet is the part couples put off. Our wedding planning bundle includes a photo shot list spreadsheet for Excel or Google Sheets. It has 33 shots filled in and a family formals sheet with 10 groups. The group names fill in from your first names. The sheet counts your must-haves and adds up the running time of the family photos, and printable shot-list and family-formals pages come with it.

6. Wedding party: three shots are enough

Wedding party photos go fast if you keep them to a few shots. Keep it to the whole wedding party together, each of you with your side, and one fun or candid group shot. Do them right after the family photos, while everyone is still dressed and in one place.

7. Couple portraits: plan them around sunset

Couple portraits need light more than time. The list here is close portraits, full-length portraits in the setting, and a short walk in the last light of the day. Plan to start about 20 minutes before sunset.

Look up sunset for your date and venue before you write the timeline. The U.S. Naval Observatory's Sun and Moon data for one day gives sunset and the end of civil twilight for any place and date. Write the sunset time on your shot list next to the portraits. Your photographer and coordinator can then pull you away from dinner at the right moment.

8. Reception: the moments you'd hate to miss

Reception shots follow the schedule, so give your photographer the order of events.

• The room before guests enter
• Your grand entrance
• Toasts, with the reactions of the people listening
• Cake cutting
• First dance and parent dances
• A full dance floor
• Candid shots at each table

If someone special is at the reception, such as a guest who traveled far or a friend who can't stay long, write their name and table. Table candids are where those people show up.

9. Send-off: the last five minutes

The send-off is short and easy to miss if the photographer's hours end first. The two shots to name are the exit with sparklers, bubbles or petals, and the getaway car. Check that the photographer's booked hours run past your send-off time. If they don't, stage the exit earlier while guests are still there.

How to choose your wedding shot list must-haves

A shot list works when it's short. Photographers cover the standard moments by habit. Spend your lines on what only you know: names, heirlooms and the order of the family groups.

After the wedding, the shot list has one more job. Use it to check the gallery for the groups and details you asked for. Then save the photos in more than one place. The Library of Congress guide to personal archiving of digital photos says to make at least two copies and store them in different locations as far apart as practical. Check them at least once a year to make sure you can read them.

When a shot list spreadsheet is the wrong choice

A detailed shot list helps most at a wedding with two families, a wedding party and a full reception. For an elopement or a small courthouse ceremony with a dozen guests, five lines in a text message to your photographer will do. Some photographers also send their own questionnaire. If yours does, fill that in and add only your family groups and the items with a story.

Our shot list is a file, not an app, and it doesn't send anything to your photographer. You fill it in on your computer and share it or print it yourself. The day-of checklist and the timeline for the same day come in the same wedding planning bundle. For packing and who carries what on the day, see the wedding day checklist.