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Wedding RSVP Cards: Wording and Reply-By Dates
Every guest who doesn't reply is a seat and a meal you have to guess. Wedding RSVP cards work when they carry four lines, a reply-by date set two weeks before your caterer's final-count deadline, and a clear meal or online option. The steps below give you the wording for each.
Start with your caterer. Look up the date your caterer needs the final guest count, and set the reply-by date two weeks before it. Print four lines on the card: name, accepts or declines, number attending and that date. Add a meal line only for a plated dinner with choices. Add a website line if you also take replies online.
A reply card is only as useful as the date printed on it.
| Step | What to do | What to watch for |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Set the reply-by date from the caterer's final-count date | Leave two weeks to chase late replies |
| 2 | Put the four core lines on the card | A blank name line comes back unreadable |
| 3 | Add the meal question only if the menu has choices | Buffets and family style need no meal line |
| 4 | Decide on an online reply line | Keep paper for guests who don't reply online |
| 5 | Pick the card size and the return envelope | Nothing smaller than 3.5 × 5 in can be mailed |
Step 1: Set the reply-by date from your caterer's deadline
Your reply-by date is not a guess. It comes from one date in your catering or venue contract: the day your final guest count is due. If the contract doesn't name it, ask your caterer before you print anything.
Count back two weeks from that date. Those 14 days are for the guests who forget. You will call or text them, update the meal counts and finish the seating chart. A reply-by date set on the caterer's own deadline leaves you no time for any of that.
A wedding on June 12 works out like this.
When to mail the invitations themselves is a separate question with its own rules. The guide on when to send wedding invitations works that date out. Just make sure guests get at least a few weeks between the envelope arriving and your reply-by date.
Step 2: Print the four lines your wedding RSVP cards need
The Emily Post Institute explains in its guide to wedding invitations that reply cards are included to give you an accurate guest count for the reception. Every line on the card should serve that count. Four lines do the job.
| Line | Example wording | Why it's there |
|---|---|---|
| Name | M__________________ | Tells you who replied. The "M" lets guests write Mr., Mrs., Ms. or Mx. |
| Answer | Joyfully accepts / Regretfully declines | One tick, no room for doubt |
| Head count | Number attending ____ | Catches a household replying for two or four |
| Reply-by date | Kindly reply by May 15 | The date from Step 1 |
Put the reply-by date near the top so it is the first thing guests read. Formal cards write it out ("Kindly reply by the fifteenth of May"). Relaxed cards keep it short ("Let us know by May 15").
You can fill all four lines in our wedding RSVP card templates. You type the heading, the reply-by date and your meal choices into the personalizer, watch the preview and download a PDF to print. The name line, the answer line and the head count line are already on the card in every design.
Step 3: Add the meal question only if your caterer needs it
A meal line belongs on the card only when guests choose an entrée in advance. That is usually a plated dinner with two or three choices. For a buffet, food stations or family-style platters, leave it off and print an attending-only card.
Keep the meal wording short. "Please mark your dinner choice" followed by the options works on any card. Name each dish plainly, such as Beef, Sea bass or Vegetarian, so guests don't have to decode a menu.
Plus-ones need care, because the card itself can't say who is invited. Your envelope does that. Address it to exactly the people you are inviting, and add "and Guest" only where you are offering a plus-one. The head count line then shows whether the guest is coming.
Some couples with a playful wedding write the card like a fill-in-the-blank story ("____ will be there with dancing shoes on"). That style is fun, but it needs room. Keep it to one or two lines and still ask the four core questions.
If you need to ask about allergies, add one line under the meal choices: "Allergies or dietary needs ____". It saves a phone call to every guest with an allergy later.
Step 4: Decide when an online reply line is enough
An online reply line lets guests answer on your wedding website instead of mailing the card. The Emily Post Institute's wedding website tips suggest putting the website address on the response card rather than on the invitation, as a printed sentence at the bottom of the card.
Printing both a card and a website line is the safe middle. Older relatives can mail the card back. Everyone else can reply online. "Or reply online at www.yournames.wedding" fits on one line.
Online replies alone are enough when you have a wedding website with an RSVP form, and you know almost every guest will use it. In that case you can skip the return envelope and its stamp. Keep a handful of printed cards for the few who want one.
A QR code can take guests straight to the form. You will need to make the code yourself with your website tool, because our RSVP card prints a website line and does not make QR codes. Test the code with two phones before you print.
Step 5: Pick the card size and the return envelope
Two sizes cover almost every wedding. A 3.5 × 5 in card is small and neat. A 4.25 × 5.5 in card gives a long meal list and a website line more room. Both tuck easily inside a 5 × 7 invitation envelope.
Don't go smaller than 3.5 × 5 in. The US Postal Service's mailing standards set 3-1/2 inches high by 5 inches long as the minimum for a letter or card. A smaller reply card can't be mailed back on its own.
Some couples skip the reply envelope and mail the card back as a postcard. The same USPS standards set card prices only for cards up to 4-1/4 inches high and 6 inches long, between 0.007 and 0.016 inch thick. Both of our sizes fall inside those height and length limits. Ask your post office to check one printed card for thickness before you print them all.
With a reply envelope, address it to whoever is collecting replies and put a stamp on it. The Emily Post Institute's invitation etiquette asks guests to return the response card in the enclosed envelope, so make that as easy as possible.
If your guests will reply mostly online and your list is small, a printed card may not be worth it. Our RSVP card is a printable file. It does not collect replies or count them for you. A wedding website RSVP form does that part.
Once replies come in, you need somewhere to tally them. Our wedding guest list and RSVP tracker is a spreadsheet for Excel or Google Sheets that counts who is attending, the meal choices and the days left to your reply-by date. When you're ready to print, our RSVP card in four designs comes in both sizes. Our invitation suite gives you the matching invitation and details card too.
Frequently asked questions
What do you put on a wedding RSVP card?
Four lines: a name line, accepts or declines, the number attending and the reply-by date. Add a meal line if your caterer serves a plated dinner with choices, and a website line if guests may also reply online.
Should wedding invitations have RSVP?
Yes, whenever guests are invited to the reception, because the replies give you the head count your caterer needs. The Emily Post Institute notes that reply cards are not used for ceremony-only invitations.
What is the standard size for an RSVP card on a wedding invitation?
There is no single standard. The two common sizes are 3.5 × 5 in and 4.25 × 5.5 in. Nothing you mail can be smaller than 3.5 × 5 in, which is the US Postal Service minimum for a letter or card.
Where can I find affordable wedding invitations with RSVP cards?
Our invitation suite gives you the invitation, the RSVP card and the details card in one design for $15 ($20 separately). You personalize all three in one personalizer on your computer and print them at home or at a print shop.
Conclusion
A good RSVP card asks for a name, a yes or no, a head count and a date, and nothing guests have to puzzle over. Set the reply-by date two weeks before your caterer's final count. Add the meal line only if the menu has choices, and give guests a website line if you collect replies online. Then stamp the return envelope and number the cards so every reply comes back to you with a name on it.
